input & prayer

[gebohmusic]

Hello, forum members. First of all —what I need most is prayer and discernment. My highest priority is to do God’s will and serve where He wants me. I am a Baptist my denomination — Southern Baptist. I have played the piano and organ for very large churches — and for very small churches. My last church position was at a large church as Organist and Children’s Choir Coordinator. I was very happy at this church and had no idea how short my time would be there. The large Rodgers organ was moved out before Easter last year - due to the church’s yearly Easter Passion Play. The play is a very large production and everything was moved out from the choir loft and platform area to provide the necessary space for the play. The play was the weekend of Palm Sunday and the weekend of Easter. Once the play was over - I received a call from the pastor stating that - “that big honking organ” was not coming back in the sanctuary and that I would be playing a keyboard. No discussion of this ever occurred with me. To make this long story short — I stayed on for another month — playing the keyboard occasionally— but mostly just singing in the choir. Honestly, I was miserable and I felt the Lord was telling me to move on and I gave a 4 weeks resignation. Sadly, the organ is back at the dealer for sale — and to this day it has not been addressed that I resigned or left — or why. From what I have been told — anyone who asks about the situation is just diverted and it’s hushed. Now, move ahead a few months and I am serving as an interim worship leader at a small church. They did not have an organ so - I had my personal small Rodgers organ moved into the sanctuary and I play preludes and offertories, etc. on it. I know we play to please and honor the Lord — not for men’s applause — but I can count on one hand the folks who have said ANYTHING about the organ. I am beginning to wonder is my playing really bad — or do these folks just not care?? I am even beginning to think that the Lord wants me to only vocally lead in worship and not touch an organ....... This is not my hearts desire, but....??? Has anyone else been down this long and lonely path??? ~Thanks ~

[musikfan]

Gebo....

I will certainly keep you in my prayers. Sadly, this kind of thing is so very common these days. At the same time, I think you need to establish beforehand what the expectations are of the church in which you will be serving. You need to talk with the leadership and get a feel for where they are with music, what expectations they have of you as their worship leader, style preferences, etc. This is sticky because ultimately YOU need to live out your convictions of what you believe constitutes good quality worship in the service. Of course, we want our convictions to be scriptural, not man-generated. If a church is not going to see eye to eye with you on this, then you need to consider that in the process. As for your playing, you may just have to seek out some folks and ask them up front what they think about the use of the organ, or if they have heard anyone else mention anything about it. A lot of this depends on the type of people you have in that church - young, old, etc. Ultimately, you need to speak with the Pastor and get his thoughts. What are his goals for worship in the church? I am the worship director/leader at a southern Baptist church here in PA. We use a mixed style with both hymns and worship choruses, and we utilize the organ almost every single Sunday (I actually am one of the organists).

As for your first place that you led, it is obvious where the pastor of the church wanted to go with worship style. I'm surprised that he did not express this to you when you first started at that church. I'm sorry that all of that occurred so unexpectedly, but like I said, that pastor obviously found a really good excuse to get rid of an instrument that he didn't like. But he should have made that clear to you when you were hired there.

At any rate, I will certainly pray for you that you have the Lord's direction. Just remember that your ultimate goal is to lead folks into the presence of the Lord, and to teach them what it means to worship - to declare God's worth in our lives. You are modeling this to the congregation when you lead worship. If that means you don't use organ, so be it. At this point, don't beat yourself up with your personal evaluation of your playing skills. That may not even be the issue. We have to use what works best in the specific context of that congregation in which we lead. Each congregation is different. Again, you need to talk with leadership and get a feel for where they want to go with this.

blessings to you in your service for the Lord......

[Leisesturm]

I receive far more response and appreciation for the things I do on the piano than on the organ. There are perhaps four (out of ~100) that actually prefer organ and even they would not appreciate a Bach Fugue. Nevertheless if I were to look for another position it would be one where there is an organ on the premises! It would be a position where I am expected to regularly lead the Worship from a keyboard instrument. I am going out on a limb in wondering if you do not live in an area within America's "bible belt"? There is a church near you somewhere that wants what you have to offer them. Seek them. Find them. Serve them faithfully. Even where I live which is an area that is well known for the lack of opportunities for serious church musicians there are openings. Godspeed.

[regeron]

In the position that was the most high-pressure for me, I found myself asking similar questions. No one is saying anything - is my playing okay? My supervisor just told me, "No news is good news. Trust me, if they didn't like what you were doing, you would have heard loud and clear by now." That was after the first couple months. I stayed for 5 happy and productive years.

The pastor who got rid of the organ - I worked for one of those - in front of people he was all smiles and compliments; behind the scenes and especially one-on-one, he was nothing but a slime bucket. I suffered more emotional abuse from him than from all other positions put together.
You were right to leave. Tips for dealing with that kind of position:
- Never stoop to their level;
- Always keep your own nose clean;
- No matter what you do now, the people there who loved you will always love you and the ones who hated you will always hate you. There is nothing you can do that will change that, so save your energy for the nice people.

In the new position, you say they didn't have an organ. The silence might just be that they have both a new instrument for worship and a new person involved in helping to lead worship, so they're dealing with at least two new and significant changes. Even if those two things are wonderful, it might mean a new path for the congregation. Give them time. Develop a couple close friendships - acquaintances to whom you can go for advice. Ask simple questions, like whether the organ is too loud/soft, too fast/slow. Those are questions that they can easily answer and you can easily fix. Doing so shows them that you care. Asking them for their opinion means that you value them and that you're not in this to 'lord it over someone.'

You also say that you are their interim worship leader. Do you know the circumstances around the departure of the previous person? That might have something to do with their silence.

My church has a lovely pipe organ that the congregation loves, but circumstances have prevented us from using the sanctuary for a number of years, so the organ has sat silent and we are in a smaller room with a good grand piano. With the instrument at hand, I strive to provide the best music I can. They understand. When the opportunity comes to return to the space and the organ, we'll all enjoy it. Until then, they have to settle for traditional hymns, inspiring choir anthems, and regular doses of Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Debussy, Scarlatti, Poulenc, Messiaen, etc.

[Organfella]

To my way of thinking perhaps all serious musicians are artists at heart. Church organists are no exception to this "rule" although some may differ, anyway, that is the way I have experienced them. And thank God for their talents and commitment.

As a minister I am kind of speaking from "the other side of the fence", particularly in respect of the cases mentioned. I will in no way condone the manner in which the pastor handled his organist. Common decency would compel one to handle these matters with more feeling, especially in a church environment.

Having said the above, and perhaps to ease the pain somewhat, ministers often experience similar emotions of doubt and feelings of inadequacy. It is not often that people respond positively to sermons. If anything they often attack when the message hit a little close to home so in the sermon business one must either have a thick skin, extraordinary faith or a very good sense of humor, or all three plus some more.....

So please do not feel alone in the emotional department when it comes to your feelings of worth after you have given your best. Always keep in mind that it is not only people who hear the sweet sounds of your playing - God hears every chord and note you play, He knows the devotion with which you do your part in ministry and above all, He knows your feelings of hurt when you consider yourself unworthy because of the way others treat you. Please do be assured that God will comfort and reward you for every effort you put in and you will know it when He does!

Do not despair and never give up, never, never, never give up!

God bless!

Nico

[jbird604]

"As harmless as doves; as wise as serpents..." You've gotten good advice above. Stay calm in your spirit, do your best, offer a worthy musical offering each time you play. Try to think the best of others, even those who seem rude and uncaring. You are only responsible for your own spiritual health, and can't help anyone else who is unwilling to listen, change, grow, consider.

Certainly you were mistreated in that church. For the pastor to decide on his own (or for any committee or group to have made that decision) without talking to you is simply unconscionable and shows no common courtesy, much less spiritual maturity or concern. You are blessed to be out of that situation, which was inwardly toxic, even if this incident was your first indication of something amiss. Folks who treat others like that are not fit to be in the ministry, and their lack of concern and caring is bound to come out in other ways, sooner or later.

I wouldn't worry much if you don't get feedback in the new situation. People tend to take good music for granted in church, though they'll let you know, as someone above said, if they are NOT satisfied! Keep on doing your best, offering it as unto the Lord, and try to be aware of the church's needs and preferences. If it turns out that your set of skills and talents do not match up well with what they need, then perhaps you'll want to look elsewhere when the interim period is up. While you are there, keep all the lines of communication open with the pastor and other congregational leadership. You will know what to do.

[davidecasteel]

It is hard for me to comprehend the callous way you (and the organ) were handled in that church. I'm a member of a fairly large (6000-member) UMC church in one of the suburbs of Dallas and we have a beautiful Klais pipe organ and several very good organist/pianist persons who play it with verve. The Senior Pastor and many congregants frequently express their appreciation for the organ music and musician, and also for the Choir. (I do wish the Senior Pastor would occasionally give a call for more Choir members, though....)

David

[musikfan]

Great comments here, gentlemen. I've enjoyed reading your feedback. Gebohmusic, I hope you are encouraged. When folks inquire about my organ-playing activities, I always tell them that sometimes I feel like we are dying breed of musicians. Nevertheless, I feel like we are privileged to play such a beautiful instrument. There is still NOTHING that gives me chills so much as when I am seated at the bench of a pipe organ, playing with a full registration. I'm getting chills just thinking about it! What an amazing instrument with so much power (both physically and emotionally)! I guess that's why we all love what we do, even if those around us don't completely understand or appreciate it.