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  • Ungrateful or just "too busy"

    You all may have seen me offer Hammond parts to people over the years at no charge, just a reimbursement for postage.

    I have a shop full of stuff that I personally will never use, and if something were to happen to me...let's face it, I am not getting any younger...all this stuff would end up being hauled away in a dumpster.
    People on the 'bay seem to be very proud of the parts that they are selling, and they make it very expensive to fix your Hammond.

    Anyway, over the years I have gladly given away a lot of parts. I am happy to pack the parts up and drive to UPS to drop the package off which is about an hour out of my day...since I am retired, I have the luxury of time to do such things now, although I managed to do this when I was working full time as well.
    Most of the time the nice people I deal with get necessary funds back to me right away...some pay up even before they get the parts.
    Some people are kind enough to give me a little extra for my trouble for which I am grateful.

    My gripe is those few who get the parts and just disappear. Over the years it has been maybe a half dozen or so of these instances. Tracking information indicates the package was delivered, but the people don't even have the decency to let me know they got the stuff, let alone repay the postage cost. They will not even respond to an email.
    With the always available technology in everyone's pocket, there is absolutely no reason that a person cannot find a few seconds to email or text me to at least acknowledge receipt.

    This in no way means that I will stop giving stuff away. Those nice people who give me back more than I ask for certainly make up for the ones who skip out, and the money is not the real issue...it is the lack of respect and not keeping your word that bothers me.
    I really need to start thinning out the shelves of stuff that I have accumulated, so all is not lost.

    I just felt like I had to get this off my chest.
    There is no way to fix this...it just seems that society in general has become more disrespectful and less tolerant of each other lately.

    Thanks for reading.

    Bob
    In theory, there is no difference between theory and reality.
    In reality, there is.
    '54 C-2 & Pair of 122 Leslies
    H-324/Series 10 TC
    '35 Model A (Serial# 41) with a 21H
    Look at some of my rescues:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/58226398@N03/albums

  • #2
    Unfortunately, there are those who have a sense of entitlement. Perhaps it's the Internet culture of free stuff or maybe it's the idea if something is free it has no value. Why would you pay postage on something that "has no value."

    Regardless of the reason, it's really too bad that people take advantage. It shows a complete lack of respect and class. I have to say you're more trusting and generous than I. I'd get the shipping cost from them prior to shipping. In this day and age, making a verified electronic payment through PayPal or Venmo is something anyone can conveniently do. Anybody who balks at paying postage up front is likely looking to screw you out of it.

    Your plight isn't unique as from time-to-time I hear from other generous forum members who've been scammed. I don't like people using this Forum to scam others. If you or anyone else is scammed by a Forum member, please let me know so I can ban them until they find a conscious and pay up. While they are banned, I'll change their title to Scammer so that others are not victimized. In order to be sure this policy isn't abused, when reporting a scammer, include their username, shipping address, and tracking number. You don't have to wait until this occurs again. Send me the requested information on any deadbeat you've encountered over the past year, and I'll put this policy into effect now.

    I'm copying this thread out of the Grease Pit where it was originally posted into the General Chat area as well for greater visibility.
    -Admin

    Allen 965
    Zuma Group Midi Keyboard Encoder
    Zuma Group DM Midi Stop Controller
    Hauptwerk 4.2

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    • #3
      In those days there was no King in Israel but everyone did that which was right in his own eyes.

      There's a fundamental problem in our culture and the Solution is staring us in the face.

      Comment


      • #4
        I agree with Bobmann that is symptomatic of today's lack of manners and consideration for others in general. I was raised by my parents and grandparents to say 'please' and 'thank you', and so I do that automatically, and I was raised to pay my debts or don't incur them in the first place.

        And I agree with Admin. I'd be wanting prepayment of the shipping, at least, before sending the stuff. The problem with that procedure is that, unless you're a business with in-house packaging, weighing and shipping calculator facilities, it usually takes two trips to the shipper: one to get the cost, the second to actually ship after the payment is cleared.
        -------

        Hammond M-102 #21000.
        Leslie 147 #F7453.
        Hammond S-6 #72421

        Comment


        • #5
          Likewise, I've shipped out tapes, LPs, registration disks and other bits and pieces 'on trust' many times. Most times, my trust has been justified and there's been a cheque by return post, or these days a fast Paypal payment, along with a letter of thanks. But I too have been 'stung' a few times and I now ask for payment before I ship or send out anything, even if I'm only asking for postage, or a nominal fee which always goes to the RNLI or one of the voluntary groups I work with.

          A shame and it saddens me to have to do this, but perhaps it's a sign of the times.
          It's not what you play. It's not how you play. It's the fact that you're playing that counts.

          New website now live - www.andrew-gilbert.com

          Current instruments: Roland Atelier AT900 Platinum Edition, Yamaha Genos, Yamaha PSR-S970, Kawai K1m
          Retired Organs: Lots! Kawai SR6 x 2, Hammond L122, T402, T500 x 2, X5. Conn Martinique and 652. Gulbransen 2102 Pacemaker. Kimball Temptation.
          Retired Leslies, 147, 145 x 2, 760 x 2, 710, 415 x 2.
          Retired synths: Korg 700, Roland SH1000, Jen Superstringer, Kawai S100F, Kawai S100P, Kawai K1

          Comment


          • #6
            I encounter bad behavior on the roads. As a cyclist, I have to watch out for my own life. I divide the bad drivers into 3 broad groups - ignorant, arrogant and incompetent.
            The IGNORANT really have no idea what the laws say. As a result, they break them unintentionally.
            The ARROGANT know what the rules say, but feel some sense of being above the law - entitlement.
            The INCOMPETENT know the rules but don't have the skills to drive safely.

            The follow up to this is the part that ties into the original post - examples of all three can be found in every demographic. It doesn't matter how you categorize groups within a society, there are good and bad people, those who know what to do and those who don't, those who know how to behave and those who don't. It doesn't matter about gender, age, level of education, amount of income, upbringing, or anything else. Each group contains its share of lousy people.

            It is just unfortunate that nice people are often the victims of the bad behavior of others.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by regeron View Post
              I encounter bad behavior on the roads. As a cyclist, I have to watch out for my own life. I divide the bad drivers into 3 broad groups - ignorant, arrogant and incompetent.
              The IGNORANT really have no idea what the laws say. As a result, they break them unintentionally.
              The ARROGANT know what the rules say, but feel some sense of being above the law - entitlement.
              The INCOMPETENT know the rules but don't have the skills to drive safely.

              It is just unfortunate that nice people are often the victims of the bad behavior of others.
              This is why society distinguishes between first and second degree murder, and voluntary and involuntary manslaughter with penalties that vary accordingly. Unfortunately for a victim, there is no difference.
              Bill

              My home organ: Content M5800 as a midi controller for Hauptwerk

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              • #8
                I'm adding another page to the original topic. There have been several occasions on the forum when a member has sent me a PM inquiring about something I have posted. One particular was inquiring about the polished concrete floor in my music room. I explained how the builder insulated the floor and it is never cold even in winter. The person who had PMed me never said thanks for the information or anything. It seems like a thank you is in order even if it's just used as an acknowledgement. Allen

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Moller Artiste View Post
                  The person who had PMed me never said thanks for the information or anything. It seems like a thank you is in order even if it's just used as an acknowledgement. Allen
                  Well, yes an acknowledgement of your reply would show a proper degree courtesy, but it's not unknown for people here to post a question either on the Forum or PM area and never return again to see the answer.

                  To determine whether a person is being discourteous in this case, you can check their profile for their last activity date, and if it's before you sent your reply, well, there you go. Also, when using private messaging you can request a read receipt that will tell you if your PM was seen by its recipient.

                  Finally, it's OK to use the reputation system to make your feelings, either positive or negative, known in a way that has some consequence. Unfortunately, reputation can only be given for user posts, not PM's, but if someone asks a question in open forum that you reply to via PM and don't get a response, leaving negative reputation on the original request would not be objectionable to me.

                  I can't regulate, nor do I want to, people's manners. What is completely unacceptable is members scamming, intentionally or not, other members out time and money, and I will deal with those cases when they come to my attention.
                  -Admin

                  Allen 965
                  Zuma Group Midi Keyboard Encoder
                  Zuma Group DM Midi Stop Controller
                  Hauptwerk 4.2

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    For as long as I've been using electronic communication, it's been considered wasteful and in some cases flat out intolerable to waste bandwidth acknowledging something without adding new information. In fact I've been active on several forum sites where it was against the rules to make a post like that.

                    The ol "+1" reply is a fine example. That is the reason forum software now typically has reputation systems.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by KC9UDX View Post
                      For as long as I've been using electronic communication, it's been considered wasteful and in some cases flat out intolerable to waste bandwidth acknowledging something without adding new information. In fact I've been active on several forum sites where it was against the rules to make a post like that.

                      The ol "+1" reply is a fine example. That is the reason forum software now typically has reputation systems.
                      A 'thank you' via a private message is also available.
                      -------

                      Hammond M-102 #21000.
                      Leslie 147 #F7453.
                      Hammond S-6 #72421

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Bobmann View Post
                        You all may have seen me offer Hammond parts to people over the years at no charge, just a reimbursement for postage.

                        I have a shop full of stuff that I personally will never use, and if something were to happen to me...let's face it, I am not getting any younger...all this stuff would end up being hauled away in a dumpster.

                        Bob
                        Funny, the wife and I have just been talking about the same thing - lots of stuff that I will never use (time is running low). She mentioned that she would need to know (about the Organ Forum) and how to distribute my hoard of stuff when I kick the reed pan (bucket).... :-(

                        I have not read all the comments on this message but will do so just now. Meanwhile if anyone out there needs/wants any parts/bits/pieces please check with me - I might have it for you. I would be happy to pack and send it for the shipping cost, albeit a little costly from my corner of the globe. Lets keep the spirit of sharing going.

                        Thanks to the OP for airing this gripe.

                        Nico

                        - - - Updated - - -

                        Originally posted by Moller Artiste View Post
                        I'm adding another page to the original topic. There have been several occasions on the forum when a member has sent me a PM inquiring about something I have posted. One particular was inquiring about the polished concrete floor in my music room. I explained how the builder insulated the floor and it is never cold even in winter. The person who had PMed me never said thanks for the information or anything. It seems like a thank you is in order even if it's just used as an acknowledgement. Allen
                        I remember shipping an antique model aeroplane kit to a fellow enthusiast on trust. The item was worth a lot of $ and the shipping cost me something like $120 for the special packaging and oversized box. I never heard from him again. I hope he enjoyed building and admiring it...

                        Nico
                        "Don't make war, make music!" Hammonds, Lowreys, Yamaha's, Gulbransens, Baldwin, Technics, Johannus. Reed organs. Details on request... B-)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by gtc View Post
                          A 'thank you' via a private message is also available.
                          My point though is that "netiquette" just isn't like traditional etiquette. Responses like "thank you" don't really add new information, and could be considered a waste of resources.

                          This long predates the modern era. One would never send a telegram just to say "TU".

                          Neglecting to pay for goods and services delivered on trust is not just in bad taste however. It's criminal.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by KC9UDX View Post
                            My point though is that "netiquette" just isn't like traditional etiquette. Responses like "thank you" don't really add new information, and could be considered a waste of resources.
                            Yes, I got that, hence the alternative method. As my dear old Grandma used to say, "Good manners cost nothing."
                            -------

                            Hammond M-102 #21000.
                            Leslie 147 #F7453.
                            Hammond S-6 #72421

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by KC9UDX View Post
                              My point though is that "netiquette" just isn't like traditional etiquette. Responses like "thank you" don't really add new information, and could be considered a waste of resources.

                              This long predates the modern era. One would never send a telegram just to say "TU"..
                              My original post was referring to PMs. I don't see how sending a PM thank you is wasting resources and it doesn't need to add new information -- it's a private conversation between two people. We're in the digital world today, not sending telegrams via Western Union. Allen

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