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telegraphing my intentions?

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  • telegraphing my intentions?



    I was a wicked person when a youngster!(probably quite innocent compared with some of today`s youth)
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    Just before `bonfire night`,many `moons` ago,whilst I lived at home with my parents,I threw a lighted `jumping jack` firecracker into my sister`s bedroom then held the door handle tightly,so as it would not turn,whilst the commotion inside ensued. She was in there,innocently doing her homework,when her `toerag` of a brother played this aweful prank on her. I can still hear her now,poor dear,screaming as the firework exploded and proceeded to its next location and exploded again-it seemed to go on forever.. actually,you will be relieved to know,the joke was on me,as my sister`s bed quilt was badly burned,as was her mat,and I recall that my dad immediately made it his mission in life that I should not be able to sit down for about two weeks!</p>

    `Ah,sibling love.` my sister forgave me-she`s a diamond-she still looks up to me now-I am blessed.
    </p>

    So,today,I am a lot more placid,but this streak again `raised it`s ugly head` when I decided(in the late 1960`s of the last century) to take the motor out of my Bedford van. I harnessed it with heavy ropes,pleaded with my(then) wife to sit on the end of this extremely long telegraph pole that was used in the power lines between the caravans,on the holiday park I was working on(and in the middle I had a very big and strong block of wood that I used as a fulcrum) So.she sat nervously towards the end of this pole,and I attached the ropes on the other end that would lift the engine out of it`s mountings, the plan was that I would push the van backwards,whilst the engine dangled in mid air..... so she had to move extremely slowly backwards until her weight combatted that of the engine then equilibruim would ensue. She was complaining about the splinters going in her rear,but I was conveniently deaf to this-I just politely instructed her to press on.</p>

    Eventually the engine was raised and I pushed the van backwards. My wife was not quite at the end of the pole but her toes were only just touching the ground. Then I left her like that-she could not go forward or backwards,telling her that it was `payback time`, for the argument we had the night before! I did return,about ten minutes later and,obviously,she was still sitting there-in the middle of this field! I am full of remorse,about this and other similar incedents and today try to lead a life that causes no harm,wherever possible,to my fellow woman(she divorced me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour-can you blame her?) </p>

    Did I ever tell you about the time a vicar gave me a dismantled,but very complete pipe organ,and how my sister`s bedroom was full of windchests, a blower unit,part of the massive bellows,under her bed and a complete set of trumpet pipes in her bay window,and how my brother and I stopped the traffic in town when we crossed the main road regularly transporting 16 foot diapason pipes,and wood bourdons resting end to end on our bike saddles.......no,well that`s for another time?</p>

    How I ever hid that mighty console under dad`s tools in the garden shed-I`ll never know!! </p>

    He was quite happy to have a little dinky harmonium in our house,after this episode..............
    </p>

    Ah,happy innocent days?!
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