Should the organist go to wedding rehearsals?

[Guest]

I go to every rehearsal for each wedding that I play at if I can - of course on a few occasions I haven't been able to make every one. Each wedding couple and their families that I meet say that they are quite surprised that the organist has come to their rehearsal, and most other organists that I know don't go to any rehearsals. I find that I need to really to judge the timing of the piece for when the bride is walking down the aisle, because each church is different, and they may have some last minute requests for music to be played, or I may have some queries for them.</P>


How many of you go rehearsals for weddings that you play at?</P>


Jezza</P>

[Guest]

Re: Should the organist go to wedding rehearsals?



To my recollection, out of the many, many weddings I have played for, I attended only one rehearsal. I should say that typically, I do not attend the rehearsal, and if requested to do so, there is an extra fee for that. If I am expected to accompany a soloist, I charge an extra fee for this, and make the time to ensure that the soloist and I rehearse in advance. If they need a soloist, I am happy to find them one, but I do tell them that they will have to pay the soloist as well. </P>


I do, though, meet with the couple in advance of the wedding to discuss the wedding service, the musical selections. and any questions which we may have. I do not charge extra for the meeting as this would not be equitable, this is a consultation. I spend as much time as necessary to help the couple feel comfortable about the music, etc. The average time spent at such a meeting has been anywhere between 45 minutes to an hour. The longest meeting I've ever had lasted two hours because the couple were unsure how to proceed and so I wanted to make sure they were comfortable and happy. </P>
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[jbird604]

Re: Should the organist go to wedding rehearsals?



Jezza,</P>


ReedGuy's method sounds good, although I, like you, normally go to the rehearsal. I need the practice myself [;)] but also like to see exactly what's going to happen, as the printed program sometimes goes out the window when they get down to actually walking through it.</P>


MInd you, rehearsals don't necessarily correspond to the actual wedding.At rehearsal it may only takethe bridea minute or so to get all the way down the aisle. At the wedding, though, itmay take 3 times as long,if she has to stop and greet and hug numerous people along the way. Furthermore, she and everyone else who marches in may have to pause for the obligatory photo shoot on the way in, further lengthening the processional.</P>


But for me, at least, going to the rehearsal is well worth the time spent. More often than not, the couple are myfriends or fellow church members anyway, and I enjoy visiting with them and their families in the more or less relaxed setting of the rehearsal.</P>


John</P>
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[Guest]

Re: Should the organist go to wedding rehearsals?

I go if paid. I list ceremony and rehearsal fees seperately to give the bride the option and consider her budget. Most decline. The exception is the inclusion of a soloist/instrumentalist, in which case I must attend so that we can rehearse. If there's extra work and rehearsalfor me because of the soloist/instrumentalist, then there's a fee for that as well. I've played for so many weddings I can vamp until the cows come home, so don't need to judge timing, etc. I do have a check list that we go over during the consultation that lists the bridal party and all parts of the service. This is reviewed prior to the ceremony with our wedding coordinator to be sure nothings changed. Seems to be a good system for me. I used to play 3 weddings a Saturday, and so tried then to get out of that many rehearsals!!!

[nullogik]

Re: Should the organist go to wedding rehearsals?

I will go if I am not sure of what is going to happen during the service and I could do with the practice time anyway. Typically just one rehearsal is what people need, and I don't charge since I'm likely to be in the Church anyway at some point in the day to do practice in my own time.

[soubasse32]

Re: Should the organist go to wedding rehearsals?

I do not go to the rehearsal unless the wedding is extremely complicated; since this is rarely the case I probably have attended a rehearsal only a few times in many years.

If I do go, I ask for additional compensation. It is a 30-mile trip for me, at least for one church. Another church I play for is practically walking distance from my house, but I don't do rehearsals there either - probably because I'm usually at the other church on any given Saturday.

The key to success is 1) explaining everything very clearly during the consultation (always done in person) and 2) having an excellent wedding coordinator who can provide signals at the right times. [:)]

[andyg]

Re: Should the organist go to wedding rehearsals?



The only wedding rehearsals I've been to have been my own, and I wasn't playing the organ on either occasion!</P>


Mind you, I did play at my children's christenings. If there was an Olympic gold for the 'organ bench to font20 metres sprint', it would be mine! [:D]</P>


SB32's spot on with his final points.</P>


Andy</P>

[Guest]

Never, Never, Never unless it's included in your fee.

[RayE]

I would say it's dependent on your comfort level and experience with playing weddings. In my case since I'm a substitute organist at our church and only play one once in a blue moon I go, and I consider it part of my fee. It puts me more at ease, and I go primarily for my benefit. If you're an organist who has played tons of them and knows what to expect, and can easily adapt if something out of the ordinary happens it probably isn't necessary.

[wombat11]

I played the organ AND gave my daughter away recently, so it was quite in order that I was expected to go to the rehearsal.
Othewise, I personally don`t see a need for the organist to be present just as long as any music that may present a problem at the servkce is discussed beforehand and a suitable solution is found.

[myorgan]

I guess I'm the rarity here. I go to the rehearsal for every wedding for which I play. I do the following:

• Meet with the bride/couple to select appropriate music.
• Spend up to 1 hour at the rehearsal. This has brought many surprises over the years, including who can walk down an aisle, and who can run there!;-)
• Tell the bride/couple to expect up to 20 minutes of music before the service, or whenever a handful of guests arrive--whichever comes last.
• Tell the bride/couple to expect up to 10 minutes of music after the service or when the last guests leave--whichever comes first.

On more than one occasion the meeting before the wedding has been quite informative, as well as giving the bride another voice if someone else (HELLO, MOTHER & IN-LAW) is trying to control her wedding. I've been thanked many times by brides for speaking up to the meddling relatives. It has also given me the opportunity to counter many stupid ideas regarding music.

In recent years, I have also directed brides to my website where I have recordings of appropriate music for the ceremony they can choose from. That way, when we meet, they've already heard ideas and sometimes decide what they want to hear for the ceremony.

When I comes time for the ceremony, I then use Phantom of the Opera or Yesterday (all my troubles looked so far away, now it looks as though they're here to stay) from the Beatles for the processional, and Onward, Christian Soldiers (marching as to war) for the recessional!:devil:

Seriously, that's why I tend to get a lot of word-of-mouth business. They know I'm going to be attentive to their needs, and am committed to providing good, quality music for their wedding. Unfortunately, in recent years less and less brides/couples have been very interested in the music for the wedding. It appears the wedding ceremony has become a stepping stone or formality before the PAR-TAY!!!:'( Oh, well. I get paid anyway!:-P

Michael

[onedayeremains]

Was just talking about this with an organist friend of mine.

The first church I played for was a very small country church, and I found it helped to show up at rehearsal, at the very least to play through the processional with the wedding party. It didn't add any extra time to the rehearsal, I lived close to the church, and this way I could demonstrate to the couple something I always warn them about during consultation: The church is small, the walk is short. If you go too fast, you won't get to the "good part" of Canon in D. ("I want my wedding to be special and unique, could you play Canon in D and the Bridal Chorus?") or whatever other wedding standard they pick.

Then it became habit. I will attend the rehearsal as part of the standard fee unless something comes up that prevents me from doing so. I get more money than what seems to be standard in my area to play weddings in my main parish, so I figure I can handle an extra trip to church. They do pay more to have other musicians, especially when great aunt Bertha wants to sing the Ave Maria, or little cousin Janey is bringing her violin. I am a little more forgiving if I know and have worked with the other musicians before, or if the other musician is a friend who got the gig through me anyways, and is being paid well. I have started asking the stipend be paid at the rehearsal (several times I have been forgotten about the day of the wedding, never to see or hear from the happy couple again) and with my forgetfulness, not only does attending the rehearsal help the wedding party learn to walk with the music and allow me to collect my fee, it also serves as a reminder that I have to get up and out to church early the next day (it's only happened once in 11 years, my biggest fear is somehow forgetting I have a wedding or funeral to play).

Also, I was once somewhat heavily chastised by a priest in a nearby large Catholic church for showing up to play at a rehearsal. He rolled his eyes and said something cheeky like "Yes? Youre the organist for the wedding? Why are you here now, the wedding is tomorrow?" and "I've NEVER had an organist play for the rehearsal!" mind you I was hired to play this wedding on very short notice, on an instrument quite large and different from what I was used to at the time, and was given practically no practice time. Luckily, the bride was a friend, and her father was not a man to be messed with. I told her about the exchange, she told her father who apparently let this priest have it big time.

I think its a matter of preference. If you feel you need to be there, or the couple wants you there, be there. If you can get them to pay for it, awesome. Considering what people pay for catering, photography, videography, and attire for weddings, they should be able to throw the organist a little extra. Also- it seems every priest/pastor has a different style of running a wedding rehearsal. I have sat through some truly awful rehearsals, from the wedding party being talked to as though they were a group of 9 year olds, being pompously warned that if they smell like alcohol the wedding is cancelled, to the rehearsal that lasted nearly 2 hours (the ceremony was supposed to be 40 mins max). My favorite ones and the ones that caused the least hardship were the rehearsals we had at the Lutheran church I worked for. The pastor hated weddings and especially the rehearsals, and knew I had a slight contempt for them as well, so we got them done and over with in record time. The ceremonies the next day were also very brief. Too bad they all cant be that easy.

[jskumro]

Also, I was once somewhat heavily chastised by a priest in a nearby large Catholic church for showing up to play at a rehearsal. He rolled his eyes and said something cheeky like "Yes? Youre the organist for the wedding? Why are you here now, the wedding is tomorrow?" and "I've NEVER had an organist play for the rehearsal!" mind you I was hired to play this wedding on very short notice, on an instrument quite large and different from what I was used to at the time, and was given practically no practice time. Luckily, the bride was a friend, and her father was not a man to be messed with. I told her about the exchange, she told her father who apparently let this priest have it big time..

I know what Parish this is.....

Bahahahaha >:-]

[Guest]

I never go to the rehearsal since the processional and recessional - it is not a time for rehearsal, and I judge the processional and recessional from the balcony. There is a program and it's pretty locked down. When I explain that to the wedding couple, they certainly understand. I alway do a pre-consult with the minister and/or priest (before the day and just before the wedding, especially out of town), and can't remember the last time anything unexpected has happened. My consultation with the couple thoroughly explains the service and/or mass, and they get a written out litergy plan with notes, so there's no question.

[Mirabilis]

When I was a young organist (fifteen years of age) I had to attend all wedding rehearsals and mostly I remember hearing
the officiating priest tell the same silly jokes at every rehearsal. This went on for a number of years and I gradually
learned that there really is no point to a wedding rehearsal. No matter how carefully one rehearses, there is no way
to "freeze" a rehearsal details over into the wedding itself. Who cares if the details meticulously worked out in
rehearsal actually are the same on the day of the wedding? It makes no difference and worrying about these details
simply distracts from the service itself.